Roommates
by ShadowRanger10
Summary: A series of oneshots featuring the characters of SO4;this is what happens when you room certain people together.Chapter 10 now up;Edge and Reimi have been forced together.
1. Chapter 1: Edge and Lymle

Roommates

Summary: A series of oneshots featuring the characters of SO4; basically what happens when you room certain people together.

Chapter 1: Edge and Lymle.

A/N: These would play out like private actions in the game so you would get this one after seeing the chess pa with Bacchus.

Edge was absolutely bored.

There was nothing to do on the Calnus and the rest of the crew was busy with… whatever they did when the ship was in mid-flight.

So he decided to do the only thing he could: sleep.

He went into the room he shared with Lymle (aka: The walking "'kay"), and lied down on his bed. He was lying on his side facing the wall and tried to decipher the many drawings Lymle had doodled on it until he fell asleep.

Somewhere in the vast star ocean was a wondrous craft known as the Calnus. And, while other more interesting things were happening in space, inside this _marvelous_ vessel Edge Maverick woke up (amazing isn't it?).

The captain rolled onto his back only to shoot upwards, his back straight like a bamboo stick. He heard a clattering sound then looked around and noticed some chess pieces scattered across the floor. He also saw Lymle and Bacchus (you would think he would see them first…) sitting in front of his bed.

"Edgie! You ruined our game,'kay!" Lymle complained.

"Indeed, you shoud be more careful ." Bacchus agreed.

After that they both left the room leaving Edge dumbfounded.

A/N: My first disastrous attempt at humor. Ihave a few more ideas but I don't know if I should continue writing this. Please tell me if you think I should continue in a review.


	2. Chapter 2: Faize and Lymle

Roommates

Chapter 2: Faize and Lymle

A/N: This is a "thank you" to this story's first reviewer, Final Hikari. This one would happen after Faize gets his cloak but before going to the Purgatorium.

Faize was exhausted. They had crossed the desert and gotten all the way to Tropp, before going all the way back to the Calnus for…some reason he honestly didn't know.

Anyway the first thing he did when he reached the ship was head up to his room and collapse on his bed, unconscious.

It was a quiet evening on Roak, not a sound could be heard (a rare occurrence since the planet is home to _a lot_ of scumbags.). However this rare silence was broken by a sudden, ear piercing cry. The source of the horrible screech was a mystery to anyone who didn't have the privileged information Lymle had. To her that meant that Faize woke up.

Indeed, Faize had awoken to find that his clothes had several splotches of color on them: paint. And if he had stopped his march downstairs long enough to find a mirror, he would have noticed the mustache that had been drawn on his face.

When he reached the recreation room all the room's occupants turned their heads in his direction to see what all the noise was about, of course they all burst out laughing ( yes, even Bacchus. Try to imagine that.).

Despite the reception Faize made his way to the conference room where Lymle was.

"Lymle! What did you do?!" He shouted.

Instead of answering Lymle giggled and pointed to Cerberus, the giant dog behind her that Faize was too preoccupied to notice, she was pointing specifically at his neck.

And that's when Faize noticed it: his cloak was tied around the beast's neck like a scarf. Needless to say, he was horrified.

Hopeless, Faize turned and left without a word, fuming all the way, he would make her return his precious cloak. One way or another, he would.

A/N: This might get a second part where Faize gets his revenge, but I'm not sure… Anyway, please read and review.


	3. Chapter 3: Sarah and Meracle

Roommates

Chapter 3: Sarah and Meracle

It had become a regularity to hear screaming in the Calnus, ever since the roakian pair was assigned to the same room; and of course that night was no exception.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sarah's screech reverberated through the ship, breaking both her own glasses and Myuria's wine glass.

The glass-shattering scream fulfilled its purpose, namely: saving the poor featherfolk girl from being eaten.

Meracle jumped out of their room in true catgirl fashion, covering her ears to try to muffle the sound.

As soon as the screaming stopped, she bounced back into room ready to continue her hunt for the "chicken".

Their room had been painted white with feathers from Sarah's wings that had come loose during their game of cat and mouse, or rather, cat and bird.

Anyway, Sarah ran out of the room and down the stairs as Meracle dived into a pile of feathers and then had to get them out of her eyes and spit out those in her mouth.

The flightless featherfolk had hoped to find someone to help her in the recreation room but she had no such luck. As she scanned the room for a place to hide, the task hindered by her bad eyesight and current lack of glasses, she had an idea.

Back with Meracle, the lesser fellpool had managed to get downstairs, only to find her prey running on a treadmill, a machine that she feared due to having fallen off the dangerous contraption a few times too many. She had made her fear obvious to her roommate who used the horrible deathtrap frequently.

Instead however, of slinking away defeated, the huntress went and sat right in front of the machine, determined to catch her chicken.

Sarah's fate now rested on her endurance, or at least Meracle's attention span.

A/N: Sorry this took so long; I just had my exams and am currently awaiting the results, so wish me luck! Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review.


	4. Chapter 4: Edge and Myuria

Roommates

Chapter 4: Edge and Myuria

A/N: This would take place after Roak but before the phantoms in Aeos.

It would have been an understatement to say that Myuria was happy with her rooming arrangements; she was ecstatic.

The reason for this being that she now had a test subject, be he willing or not, for her various concoctions.

She had made a list of the Calnus crewman and crossed off those who weren't eligible:

-Reimi Saionji: Abnormal body modifications from being a Seed of Hope might make for inaccurate reading of side-effects or results.

-Faize Sheifa Beleth: Eldarian tampering could cause side-effects that don't appear for any other race.

-Lymle Lemuri Phi: Too young.

- Bacchus: The problem is too obvious to write.

-Meracle Chamlotte: Cat-girl.

-Sarah Jerand: Chicken.

-Welch Vignard: Hologram.

- Edge Maverick: Perfect. Cowardly, so he won't complain; and the power he obtained from being a Seed of Hope cannot affect the results.

Wasting no time, she started preparing a new recipe she was just "dyeing" to try out.

When she finished the rest of the group had already gone to sleep, so she sneaked back to her room and was relieved to find the young captain fast asleep. She smiled deviously and started her experiment.

The next morning Edge awoke and went about his daily routine, oblivious to the blue stains on his pillow and his friends' stares and wide-eyed looks.

The reactions differed from a person to the next: Lymle and Meracle were laughing so hard they ended up on the floor.

Sarah didn't notice anything different and asked Meracle what was so funny.

Reimi dug out a camera deciding the pictures would make great blackmail material later.

Faize screamed, thinking a monster had somehow boarded the Calnus.

And Bacchus was absolutely unfazed.

Later, after her laughing fit was over, Lymle went up to Edge and asked :

"Edgie, why are your hair and face blue? It looks stupid,kay?"

Upon hearing this, Edge flew upstairs and looked into the first mirror he can find.

His reflection caused his face to contort in a hundred different ways; and then he screamed for Myuria, his first suspect.

"You called, boy?" Myuria asked, announcing her arrival.

"D-Did you do this!?"He could barely get the words out through his clenched teeth.

"I needed a guinea pig and you were the only one I could use, it was supposed to be a hair dyeing spray but my aim was a little off and it got on your face." She answered truthfully.

Edge was enraged and walked into his room locked the door and refused to come out.

A while later, he found that his hair was falling out and started sobbing; meanwhile Reimi was sneaking into the room armed with her camera…

A/N: Kind of disappointed there were no reviews for the last chapter but hopefully this one is better. As usual please review.


	5. Chapter 5: Faize's Revenge!

Roommates

Chapter 5: Faize's Revenge!

A/N: Finally got around to writing this! I had fun writing this chapter, so enjoy!

Faize Sheifa Beleth had suffered through many sleepless nights, scheming. The abused alien was still missing his precious cloak and he was willing to do anything short of killing the annoying little girl, he was stuck with to get it back.

After many failed attempts, Faize finally came up with an ingenious plan; however he would need the help of the ship's very own evil genius to go through with it.

And so, the green-haired Eldarian marched himself forward, while his mind tried to reason with him.

When he reached the monster's lair (otherwise known as the Conference Room) he called out the creature of the Item Creation Terminal with the press of a button.

What appeared before him then was Welch Vineyard in all her glory and splendor.

"Announcing the great Welch Vineyard! Hmm? Well this is new: alien-boy is the one who called me! So what do you need kid? Has Edge started molting yet?" She said the last part with a snicker.

Faize was already regretting his decision to come here.

"Nothing like that. I do, however, require your assistance in making some sleeping powder."

"Sleeping powder, huh? That sounds interesting! What do you plan on using it on?"

He shrugged and said: "Monsters."

"You're a terrible liar, but I'll make it anyway. And don't you worry, I _will_ find out about the uses of that powder. Nothing escapes the Welch Vineyard Information Service (by which she meant gossiping with Reimi)!

Faize merely took his precious powder, hiding it in his pocket, and left. All he had to do now was wait.

That night, when he was sure Lymle was sleeping soundly; Faize got up out of his bed and stated searching through her belongings. He dug through her drawers until he found what he was looking for, buried under a sea of different color paint bottles, it was the box of dog biscuits that Lymle fed to Cerberus.

He poured in the sleeping powder, making sure that it was not noticeable, then went back to bed with a smile of contentment plastered on his face.

The next day, Faize waited eagerly for Lymle to start playing with her "doggie".

When she headed toward the storeroom, Faize followed and watched happily as she summoned Cerberus.

After Cerberus successfully performed a trick Lymle rewarded her companion with a treat.

Faize seized the opportunity when the monster started looking drowsy and reclaimed the cloak that was tied around its neck, while Lymle watched his bold display with amazement, expecting her beloved dog to jump the Eldarian.

"What is Faize doing? My doggie will want it back, 'kay."

Faize merely laughed holding the cloak up in triumph.

"And how will it take it back?" He asked, a triumphant grin spread across his face.

He turned around only to have his grin replaced with a look of horror as the humongous dog tipped over and fell right on top of him, sleeping.

Faize was crushed under the creature's tremendous weight and he would have to wait until it woke up in order to regain his freedom. To top off his humiliation, Lymle was laughing loudly in the corner.

It seems poor Faize can never win.


	6. Chapter 6: Reimi and Lymle

Roommates

Chapter 6: Reimi and Lymle.

A/N: First of all,thanks to Triggs for the review that inspired this chapter, and of course to everyone who does review. Second, I apologize for the delay for this chapter, school has started and I've been rather busy. Finally, enjoy this chapter :).

When Reimi Saionji discovered she was being paired with Lymle, the most annoying person on the ship (even when compared to Meracle "The Hyper" Chamlotte and Sarah "Screech" Jerand, and that was saying a lot), she had the feeling that Edge was trying to punish her for some reason. She suspected it had something to do with the photos she took of him and later posted on the internet (and the bulletin board on the Calnus, and showed to everyone they met…), after the incident with his hair falling out.

Anyway, the ship's sub-captain braced herself as she entered her room that night.

If there was ever any doubt that her new living arrangements were the result of an act of revenge, it was gone…definitely gone.

Anyone who met Reimi could easily say that the first thing they they had noticed about her was that she was a clean-freak. The tiniest speck of dust seemed to trigger a kind of radar inside her, she would find and destroy anything she deemed unclean.

This trait is the reason the sight that assailed her eyes would not register in her mind.

The original color of the walls was invisible, as there was not one patch of unpainted wall in the entire room, in addition the portholes that had once showed the vast expanse of stars were now coated with every paint color imaginable which had not yet dried and was running along the walls and spilling onto the floor. The floor had gained a carpet of doodles and crudely drawn symbols that were beyond the comprehension of any living thing besides Lymle.

Moving on to the furniture; it seemed that the only thing that remained untouched was Reimi's bed, the rest was either marred with several splotches of paint (for example, the now polka-dotted dresser they shared) or taken apart, like the lamp that was in the corner of the room before it was Lymle'd (or Lymelized, whichever you prefer).

Lymle herself was nowhere to be found.

Reimi, who was sorely hoping that this whole mess was nothing more than a nightmare, was losing her mind. Her radar was pointing in a thousand different directions and she didn't know what to do; there was just so much to be done…

And that was when she broke down, and the thoughts running through her mind all resembled this:

_Warning! Warning! Does not compute! System malfunction! System shutting down._

At this point she was huddled on the ground, her knees pulled up to her chest, while her chin rested on them. She was rocking back and forth mumbling incoherently.

Lymle came up to her just then, tilting her head, she asked oh so innocently:

"Rei-Rei, what's wrong?"

Reimi looked up to her, incredulous, not saying a word.

She vowed at that moment that Edge would pay. She would make him regret this.

That was a promise.


	7. Chapter 7: Arumat and Bacchus

Roommates

Chapter 7: Arumat and Bacchus

A/N: Both Arumat and Bacchus had not yet been tortured, so he was long overdue for this. This pa triggers right after trading Faize in for Arumat. Speaking of long overdue, I realize it's been a while since my last update, I've had a lot of work lately so from now on I will not update until a chapter has1 review, to make sure there's some interest in this story. That being said, I thank my readers and reviewers, enjoy.

It had become a true terror to the mixed band of humans and aliens (not to mention the cyborg) to see their esteemed captain tampering with the room arrangements, though it did offer a shred of hope to those like Reimi, who was still suffering with Lymle. There were, by some miracle, two people on the ship who remained oblivious, the newcomer Arumat (you would think he would figure out why his new comrades were trembling when Myuria started cackling like a true witch and Lymle announced that she was off to redecorate her new room…) and Bacchus, who erased any unpleasant incidents from his memory.

By choosing Bacchus as Arumat's roommate Edge intended to allow the Eldarian a hold on his sanity for his first day before helping him realize the craziness he had gotten dragged into.

After the room assignments were given out and people had either let out a sigh of relief or screamed inwardly, resigning themselves to their doom while the person assigned to them smiled evilly, the day played out in a fairly typical fashion:

Meracle chased Sarah around for a while until Reimi distracted her with a mechanical mouse she had asked Welch to make for just such an occasion, Myuria tried to convince Bacchus to drink with her, curious as to whether he could drink alcohol especially if she added a little something to it, of course he refused, and finally Arumat examined a few parts of the Calnus' engine, after being introduced to Welch who simply stared at him unblinking then when Edge informed her that he would be filling in for Faize, she turned to him and asked: "Faize who?". Meanwhile Lymle stood by, uncharacteristically quiet, clinging to Reimi. Yes, just a normal day, compared to the hysteria of that night.

Deep into the night, when Bacchus had shut down, Arumat quietly got out of his bed where he had pretended to sleep and made his way over to the robotic man, screwdriver in hand. He had always had an interest in mechanics, and was wondering about Bacchus and the way the machine that was his body worked. He was about to discover. He smiled a brilliant smile at the thought and brought up the screwdriver as though it were his scythe during battle.

Suddenly a hand shot up and caught him by the throat, lifting him from the ground. Red eyes stared at him; apparently Bacchus had an automatic defense system. He stayed suspended in mid-air like that for a few seconds, wide-eyed and choking, before having his head knocked repeatedly against the wall. Arumat decided right then that he would be having nightmares of this for the rest of his short life, which was getting even shorter.

The noise attracted both the captain and the sub-captain to the room. They both stood in shocked silence for a while. Reimi snapped out of it first and went to separate them.

Edge moaned, impossible as it was, they had gained another madman.


	8. Chapter 8: Reimi and Myuria

Roommates

Chapter 8: Reimi and Myuria

A/N: As always, I thank my readers and reviewers. This chapter occurs before the phantom fight in Aeos, meaning that Faize is still around.

She couldn't believe it; she wondered how it could have happened. She concluded that Edge had become a kind of evil genius without her knowing; of course it just had to be at Reimi's expense. This was definitely the worst thing he had ever done to her, trapping her in a room with Myuria especially after what had been done to him, not to say of course, that her time with Lymle wasn't terrible. She would kill him for this, if she could actually survive it anyway.

On that note Reimi decided to live by an ancient saying: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." So for the rest of the day she clung to Myuria as if they had been the best of friends since the dawn of time. She took a page from Edge's book and dumped any responsibilities she might have had as sub-captain on Faize, just as Edge did with her while he ran around the ship like a hyperactive child.

Little did Reimi know that she would have survived this day without incident (of life-threatening kind in any case…) if he had not unwittingly (if not stupidly) brought about the doom of his childhood friend by stealing Myuria's list of reasons why most of her crewmates were not good test subjects, actually thinking that he was _saving _the poor girl from harm. Unfortunately he thought it was a list of things she wanted to try out on each of his friends, and when Myuria discovered her list was missing she went on a rampage, she knew it must have been stolen. She vowed to make life miserable for any roommate she might have until one of them confesses, she decided to use them as her test subjects, disregarding her original worries, after all she needed to try out her line of "Myurian" products (money was tight after her husband died).

As Reimi soon discovered nothing would have ever been able to spare her Myuria's wrath. She sat down next to the older woman at the bar convinced that she still had a chance to get through the day unscathed. It was then that she made her one mistake and accepted a drink from the Morphus woman (she came so close…).

She noticed the effects a few hours later, when she saw Edge snickering and Lymle and Meracle started calling her "grandma".

As it turned out, Myuria had slipped an anti-aging potion into her drink, it had an opposite result. It lasted a few days.

While Reimi was suffering, Myuria was thinking up a slogan for Myurian.

A/N: I suggest helping Myuria find her slogan, lest you end up being one of her test subjects…


	9. Chapter 9: Meracle and Lymle

Roommates

Chapter 9: Meracle and Lymle

A/N: Many thanks to all readers and reviewers.

It was never understood how such a mistake had come to be. The preferred explanation that Reimi had oh so diplomatically offered later was that their ever so busy captain had quite simply overlooked the inevitable and no doubt dire consequences of the arrangement, or, in simpler terms, Edge was half-asleep.

With the exception of Bacchus, whose body was basically armor all on its own, and the Terrors, the name chosen for Lymle and Meracle together, the Calnus crew spent the morning building up their defenses.

Their methods were varied. Faize decided to hide in a closet until the storm passed and asked Myuria to inform him once it was safe; he was not willing to take chances where Lymle was concerned; Myuria herself took the opportunity to try one of her own sleeping potions (guaranteed to end insomnia-a Myurian brand product) so she would stay blissfully unaware of the impending chaos, as it turned out, the potion had her sleeping for a week, leaving Faize stranded in his closet. Sarah had disappeared, which was perhaps for the best. Reimi declared her claim to the conference room so as to seek counsel from Welch, and by "counsel" she meant heavy, fireproof and paint resistant armor and some tranquilizer darts for good measure. Edge, being the reason why two hyperactive and notoriously destructive little girls were allowed to team up, was tied up and left in the second floor hallway by his crew helpless to do anything but cry mutiny.

The rest of the day was spent in absolute silence for the waiting group, the tension mounting, while the ominous laughter, along with various sounds (which ranged from metallic to muffled) coming from the Terrors' room only served to augment their sense of incoming danger. And then came the moment of truth.

No one was entirely sure what happened or how it did, after the fact. Reimi was the one to leave her hiding place (well armed, of course) when things had quieted down. She knew the disaster had started upon hearing the explosion and knew it had ended when the succession of shrill screams, roars, which she figured belonged to Cerberus, and the sounds of objects breaking, shattering or tearing; had stopped.

She maneuvered her way through the first floor, carefully examining the damage and hoping that the little monsters were satisfied for the day. The recreation room was in shambles, besides the paint that covered every inch of the room that was basically Lymle's signature, there wasn't a single chair with a leg to stand on, the bar had been decorated with claw marks, the small round table was lower than it had been and had somehow taken the shape of Cerberus' paw and the couch, adorned with countless cat scratches, was spilling out its stuffing.

Horrified and with barely a grip on her sanity, Reimi summoned up her courage and continued on to the second floor all the while resisting the urge to start cleaning. She nearly missed seeing Edge, who blended in with the new colors of the floor. The abused captain had his legs caught under the door to Lymle and Meracle's room, which had been blown off its hinges, he was unable to move since his hands and feet were still bound. His childhood friend went up to help him, a smile plastered on her face. After all, this was sweeter revenge than anything else she could come up with.

While Reimi struggled to lift the door off of Edge, Sarah suddenly appeared in front of her. The featherfolk girl looked around before fixing her eyes on Reimi.

"Oh! Hello Reimi! Does something about this room seem different to you too?"

Reimi stared at her, dumbfounded, until she saw Meracle approaching, claws bared, with a hungry glint in her eyes.

A/N: There are positions open in the Calnus for nurses and housekeepers.


	10. Chapter 10: Edge and Reimi

Roommates

Chapter 10: Edge and Reimi

A/N: This chapter was long overdue…I apologize…This is however the landmark tenth chapter so I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story.

The tension in the room was palpable. Edge was still in a full-body cast after the accident. Their crew now referred to that incident as Hurricane Merlym; a calamity he had unwitting unleashed. As his best friend, Reimi had been saddled with the duty of playing nurse for him, their poor, injured captain. She had tried to protest that as second-in-command she had to lead in his place; however she was quickly and quite effectively silenced by the chainsaw that Bacchus pulled out to replace his arm and the sight of Lymle and Meracle whispering in the back of the room with devilish smiles plastered on their faces.

And so, however begrudgingly, she trooped on up the stairs to deal with her new living arrangements. Though however much she tried in the days to come, she would never quite be able to explain how she ended up pointing a paint gun at him.

Her dear friend and captain however could pinpoint the exact moment that led to this dire encounter. He was incapacitated and that made feelings stir within him, namely boredom and bitterness. Now this deadly combination was obviously not going to bring about a peaceful conclusion to this situation, but really, when had life on that ship ever been peaceful? It just wasn't his year.

He did enjoy himself at first though, with Reimi forced into the role of nursemaid. He discovered that guilt was a very powerful tool indeed. Being a good captain, Edge enquired as to the state of the ship, he did this every time she entered the room thus prompting her to reply: "It's not like you ever did anything but tell us where you want this miserable death trap to go!" Among other things he forced her to lock Meracle and Sarah in a room and bring him pictures of the ensuing chase; convince Myuria that Faize would be the perfect subject for the next product she wanted to test (Myurian brand hair dye; guaranteed to get your hair to just the right shade of purple!) and, worst of all, tell Lymle that Bacchus _really_ wanted to see the tricks she taught Cerberus, especially the one where she has him fetch scrap metal. That, Edge could tell you, was the last straw.

Now Reimi, being a kind and gentle soul (not to mention extremely terrified of the plots for revenge she knew were imminent), was not amused. In fact, she was annoyed. Before she knew what she was doing, she had gone into the Torture Chamber (Lymle's room, where the screams of the abused walls and furniture could be heard from miles away), extracted her newest device, the legendary paintball gun, the origins of which remain a mystery to this day.

She leveled the gun at him with practiced ease, the result of military training, and waited. She was pondering the ethical dilemma of shooting a man in a full-body cast when he spoke. He rose valiantly to his own defense with a weak whisper of: "Come on Reimi, you can't attack an injured man. Remember, make love not war?"

He was hopeful when she seemed to null it over and when the slow smile came across her face he knew he had managed to stave off another bout of humiliation. Then, she leaned in close to him, the space between them diminished so that he could see her more clearly than he ever had before…She really was beautiful…

"No mercy." She said, a grin replacing the seductive smile, the moment officially dead and gone. Edge's eyes widened in horror as her words registered, and she opened fire for sweet revenge and relief at long last.

A/N: Myurian Hair Dye is currently available for mail order. Warning: May result in hair loss, permanent dyeing of the hands and can be a deadly poison for some. Try at your own risk.


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